Friday, October 29, 2010

Beware these damn things

H8
 So I was in hershey world the other day. I see this unsuspecting candy, basically fake mike and ikes.
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 Background on these things: Originally there was a candy called Good & Plenty, which were made by the Quaker City Confectionery Company in 1893. Basically, licorice pieces in a candy shell. I'm not a fan of licorice, but I hear they're good to people who are.
Through the years, money won, and company after company kept buying each other out. Eventually the candy landed in the hands of Hershey ~1996. Before that, some company made the Good & Fruity's, which I suppose led to this most recent product.
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 So I see the packaging, and think "Cool, cinnamon candies mixed with fruity candies," as the box implies.

WRONG WRONG WRONG FUCKING WRONG

I open it, find a cinnamon piece. Not half bad, but it tasted a little beat. Nowhere near as good as Hot Tamales or anything like that. I move on, and try a lemon piece, and I suddenly I realize they must have mixed the lemon with cinnamon. I couldn't believe the shittiness of the idea, so I tried another. Same deal. I move on to the orange, and I couldn't believe it. It tasted like I ate a gumdrop released from the ass of satan. Apple was equally bad. Picture Eating an apple scented candle with cinnamon sprinkled on top.

Question to Hershey: What the fuck was going on with your taste specialists? Lemon + cinnamon != good, in fact it's quite the opposite. Throughout this blog post, I've been trying to eat them. I have to pause after every piece. Cinnamon flavor makes me want to throw up, orange tastes like poison, etc.

Fuck this, I'm going to go eat some gummy bears.
EDIT, I just found a piece of plastic wrapper in my gummy bear. fuck candy.

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